


The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

by rakketyrivertam



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, Gestalt Bond, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Revenge, jazzprowl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 16:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakketyrivertam/pseuds/rakketyrivertam
Summary: Prowl refuses to surrender.





	The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I still have not actually read the Prowlestator arc yet, all my knowledge is pieced together from wiki pages, Tumblr posts, and other fics. That being said, I find the relationship very interesting and have a tendency to completely ignore and rewrite any canon I don't like, so I can't guarantee this would be any different if I had read it. XD

_Five minds and sparks pulsing in line with his own, brand new transformation seams rusting with disuse, a head without a body and - somewhere - a body without a head._

* * *

Prowl came online with a shout, and Jazz surged up beside him, weapons already trained on some unseen enemy.

Prowl curled in on himself, hand over his chest, venting harshly through the pain.

"That bad, lover?" Jazz put his weapons away and gently massaged Prowl's back, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "You should go to them. You know I don't mind if you go have a sleepover when you need it."

Prowl bit back a sob, taking his amorphous hurt and brutally reformatting it into sharp, clear rage. "I _never_ wanted this."

* * *

They were waiting for him behind the door, patient and solid as the buildings they erected, sparks as bright as the Crystal City itself burning in the back of his mind. He was relieved. He was violated. The one was easier to hold onto than the other, which could be dismissed as a product of the bond he never asked for.

He was lying to himself and he knew it.

Inside, Scavenger squirmed in anxious excitement and the others quickly hushed him.

Prowl sighed and opened the door.

The Constructicons eagerly reached out for him over the gestalt bond.

_You're **here**._

_You **came**._

Prowl brutally snapped his side of the bond shut and the others recoiled in preparation for his rage. He winced himself and tentatively reached for them, brushing against their minds and sparks with the apology he would never say out loud.

He didn't need to, after all.

"We'll warn you next time," Hook promised.

Prowl nodded and sat down in the space they made for him between them. Scavenger wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. Bonecrusher plopped down close enough for their knees to brush and Mixmaster shamelessly draped himself over all three of their laps. Long Haul wrapped his entire frame around Bonecrusher's shoulders like a koala, and Hook laid his head on Mixmaster's stomach. Prowl slowly, carefully put an arm around Scavenger's waist and stroked Hook's helm with his other hand.

"I wish it could be like this all the time," Scavenger murmured.

Prowl's hand stilled. "You know why it can't."

"I don't," Bonecrusher snapped, blunt as always.

Mixmaster shook his head frantically, and Long Haul squeezed hard enough to hurt, as if he could physically trap the words his gestalt mate wanted to say.

Crusher ignored them both. "I mean it. Why do you get to act like you're the _only_ one who didn't want this and didn't get asked? Scrapper wasn't even _gray_ when the order came down. We hadn't even had a chance to sit _vigil_ for him, and they wanted us to just _replace_ him? With an _Autobot_? You're not the only victim here. You're just so scared of people knowing you have _feelings_ that you've decided we don't have any."

Prowl snarled and writhed, but the others wouldn't let go. He felt Bonecrusher's intentions less than a klik before he found himself pinned to the ground.

"Admit it," Bonecrusher growled, "you only hate us because it's easy."

Prowl tipped his head back and laughed, desperately. "Of course it's not _easy_. I have to jump through hoops to get there. But the only other option is to pretend it never happened, and I just _can't_."

Bonecrusher shared a look with the other Constructicons and they all backed away, allowing Prowl to sit up.

"I mean-" Hook faltered for a moment, trying to strong the right words together. "You could acknowledge that we were all of us hurt by Shockwave, but that would require acknowledging that there is an 'all of us'."

Prowl swallowed and looked away.

Scavenger gently touched his shoulder with only the tips of of his digits. "Can we show you something?" he asked, sounding smaller than ever.

After a long moment, Prowl flicked a doorwing and lowered his firewalls. Emotions not his own trickled through the bond at first, then gradually became a torrent.

Pain.

Death.

_Still alive?_

Emptiness.

Grief.

Rage.

And still more pain.

And then... relief.

Wholeness.

What should have been a cancer, a balm.

Reaching for it.

Affection bursting for what could only be a part of them.

Prowl gasped as he came back to himself and hid his face, trying to override his leaking optics.

"You're _us_, Prowl," Long Haul said. "And _we_ are the victim, all of us. The only one to blame, the _only_ one who deserves to hurt and be tortured like you've been torturing us and yourself is Shockwave."

Prowl blinked, then opened himself up to the rest of the gestalt, tacnet calculating rapidly.

The same scheming grin split six faces.

Bonecrusher slammed his fists together. "Now_ that's_ what I'm talking about."


End file.
